When She’s Playing Softball

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A few weeks ago, we ran a series of posts about what coaches and parents are thinking when their daughter plays fastpitch. Most of you could relate to some or all of any of those posts. If you haven’t read them and need a laugh you can check them out here.

When My Daughter is Up to Bat

When My Daughter Pitches 

When I am Coaching 

So today, we bring you – What SHE’s thinking when SHE’s playing….

Pre-Game…

OMGawdddd, it’s sooo early. The sun is not even up yet. I am hungry, wonder what’s for breakfast. Probably nothing, because no one sane gets up this early on a Saturday. Did I pack my cleats? Crap…wait…oh yeah…I got my cleats…wait….Mama is gonna be so mad if I didn’t put my cleats in my bag again. I could use new cleats anyways. Maybe they are in there. Should I say something now? Or wait. Yes, wait…no need to upset the parentals this early in the day. I need a nap. I hope I hit good today. Maybe we will win. I sure hope they stop for breakfast soon, I am starving to death. Did I bring my bow? Maybe mama will buy me a new one at the park. I love bows. This is taking FOREVERRRRRRRR! 

At the Park

Why do they put the parking lots sooo far away from the field? Don’t they know we have to lug all this stuff? I need a wagon, maybe I can slip it in Dad’s wagon. I think Hannah and Josie are playing here today, they posted on Instagram. I hope we don’t play them, they always act like they are so much better than us. I sure hope my cleats are in my bag. I hope Macie is here to braid my hair. There’s no way that I will be able to hit good today if my hair is not braided. It’s already sooooo hot. Wonder where we are going for lunch today? Hopefully there is a Chic-Fi-Le around this town. Where are we anyway? Why do we have to warm up 75 minutes before a game starts? I mean we are going to be playing all day. Oh thank god, Macie is here. My hair is a hot mess. Is there a hole in my sock? Mama is gonna have to go get me a new pair…I cannot play with a my toe sticking out of a hole. Oh good….got my cleats, but why is my glove not in here? I should really clean out this bag. Oh, there it is. Something smells really bad??? OMG is there a septic tank leaking somewhere? Did  the dog poop in my batbag? Maybe mom is right, and it is my cleat. I Knew I needed a new pair! 

On Defense

Could it be any hotter out here? If she walks another batter, I think I may melt – just let them HIT the darn ball so we can get an out. “Glove down, bottom up”. Yes coach we hear you. “Plays at first girls,” yes, yes we know! We always hear you…we know, ball first….blah blah blah! Is my mom taking pictures?  Oh my gawd, why does she always have to take pictures. Why can’t she be a normal mom and just sit in her chair. Crud, Sara just missed the fly ball – that means we are going to have to run next practice. Coach looks mad. Does he think we make errors on purpose, I mean seriously?   I would like to see him get his butt off the bucket and come out here and catch every ball and make every play underneath the blinding sun.

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2 outs. This batter looks like she can hit. No way she is 14. She looks like she plays college ball. Did Macie just seriously miss that ball – she sure can braid hair, but need to work on fly balls. What is she doing? I can hear the lecture after this game now….”head up girls, gotta make the routine plays, stay focused, stay in the game, back up our pitcher….blah blah blah” This hole in my sock is driving me crazy. I am starving. Did the team ever decide where we are eating? Oh yay….the third out. Finally…water.

On Offense

I have been batting 7th all year. Wonder why I bat 7th. I am a pretty good hitter. Is this the last inning? Wait, whats the score? What inning is this? Are we almost out of time? I wish the scoreboards worked. Oh no…here comes dad. Maybe if I put my helmet on I can pretend to ignore him and his spiel. “Nothing above the hands,nothing below the knees, see the ball – hit the ball – watch for the change and the rise…” Yeah, yeah dad – I got this. Is this my water? It’s so hot. Wonder whose water this is. No one would notice if I just drank it?Is that a seed I just swallowed? Gross. I wonder if anyone has any food, I’m starving!  I cannot wait to hit. I love hitting. Well, I love hitting when I hit good. This pitcher is not that fast, I can hit her easy. Sure wish mama would quit taking pictures while I hit, its so distracting. Does someone have a cowbell? OMG, how annoying is that – this isn’t a rodeo. This umpire is insane, I hope he doesn’t call that pitch a strike when I am up to bat!  My turn. 

Is that a sign or is he picking his nose? Did I miss something last practice? I hope he’s not telling me to bunt,because I am swinging away. Wait…what? What in the world is he doing over there???? Gah, I wish my dad would be quiet. I am swinging, I have no idea what he is saying. If I get a good hit and get on base he won’t be mad. Oh my GOD, how did I just miss that?  Mama probably got a picture of that. Coach looks mad, maybe I was supposed to bunt. Folded arms??? Is that a sign or is he just mad? I’m swinging. I got this. This sock is driving me crazy. Hope mom gets this picture, because I am about to crush the ball and win this game. Well, maybe not…that was in the dirt. Come on give me something to hit, I am starving. Oh please coach, stop with the signs, he must be telling me to hit because I have two strikes and he knows I stink at laying down bunts. Oh please GOD let me get a good hit! 

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After the Game

Coach must have forgotten we won. Yeah, maybe we didn’t play our very best, but we still got the job done, right? Coaches! Think they know everything.  When is this meeting gonna end, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed food. And new socks. Where are my parents? It’s so freaking hot today. Wonder what my hair looks like? Coach doesn’t look like he feels so good, maybe he needs to get out of the heat for a while. Why is Tricia’s mom standing here, doesn’t she know this is a team meeting? How embarrassing. My GAWD, What is that smell? There must be a septic leak somewhere around here. Or a horse farm. Wonder if I should get fried or grilled chicken. After that last hit, mama really needs to get me a milkshake too. Oh no, where did I put my cleats????

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