Easy Ways to Drive Your Fastpitch Softball Coach CRAZY!
Those fastpitch softball coaches! They think they know everything.
By the way they stand there and hit you ground balls, make you run – and critique your performance at the plate while a pitcher is hurling a HARD ball your way – you’d almost think they think they can play the game of fastpitch softball better than you can, right? Seriously, how many of them can run the bases in 4.2 seconds, and how many of those coaches would actually be able to swing and HIT off a stellar pitcher?
JUST FOR YOU, we offer you some quick tips to REALLY get your coaches blood curdling. Ya know, easy ways to drive even the best and most patient coach in the world C.R.A.Z.Y!
Let’s have some fun, shall we? Because honestly, what’s more fun than watching your coach sweat it out during a close game, and take off his hat and kick dirt and grit his teeth and then saying with as much authenticity as possible (as to not hurt your feelings) “Don’t worry girls, nothing hurt,” when he really wants to wring your neck.
Ready? Here we go, easy ways to drive your fastpitch softball coach CRAZY!
1. Slow down as you get close to first! Promise you, if instead of running through the bag and keeping your momentum going, if you slowwwwww down just as you are about to step on first, you will drive your coach nuts. Coaches hate that. especially, when you hit the ball to the short stop who happens to have an amazing arm and who throws you out by a hair. Remember, NEVER run THROUGH the bag (like they drill you to do in practice) if you want to drive your coach crazy.
2. Go ahead, swing at the high fast ball, earhole high – with 2 strikes! Coaches are always saying, “You can’t hit what you can’t see” and here they are getting frustrated because you swung at the ONE BALL you could see the best. The high heat. So what if it was over your head – as it was coming in and you had like 1.4 seconds to react – you SAW IT CLEARLY! So you swing. And when you do, check out your 3rd base coach, chances are he will be shaking his head and holding his hand near his eyebrows reminding you that you just struck out on a ball way above your hands. Oh – and this leads to NUMBER 3 —-
3. When you swing at the high heat, get up on your tippy toes to get the barrel to the ball and get a hit, make sure when the coach says, “Why did you swing at that?” you mention a) “Well, I hit it” and b) “I got on base!” That always makes your coach feel better. Coaches love to be proven wrong.
4. Pick up a ground ball with your glove hand. Yep, this will drive your coach nuts. And if you want to add a little something extra to drive your coach nuts, run back to the base to get the out while leaving the ball in the dirt because you didn’t realize it wasn’t in your glove because you picked it up with your glove rather than your bare hand!
5. Throw the ball away on 2 outs! It so NOT fun to just work the batter when you have two outs on the scoreboard, right? Why should the pitcher have all the fun? The real icing on the cake, is to throw a ball away with 2 outs when a batter at the plate has two strikes. Yep -coach will be scratching his head and turning red in no time!
6. Go to practice without your stuff. Show up in flip-flops, and shorts. Or leave your glove at home. Ya know, instead of acting like you are going to softball practice, pretend you are heading out for a day at the beach and then sit on the bench while you wait for your reinforcements to bring you what you need. Coaches ‘love’ this! Or better yet – show up to a GAME/Tourney without your stuff! Now, that’s the stuff that can cause coaches to go all Thelma and Louise on you!
7. Another way to drive a coach nuts is to make faces, or worse – comments to the umpire about balls or strikes, or whether or not you were safe or out. Seriously, why should the coach have to do it all the time? And why does he sometimes ‘forget’ to argue a call? After all, you are entitled to your opinion too, right? Rude? HA!!
8. This one is great! Field a ball cleanly with stealth and skill, then – instead of setting your feet – use every ounce of energy in your body to throw the ball as hard as you can so it flies over the fence or into the outfield. Coach knows you have a strong-arm, but if you want to drive him to the brink of insanity, show him just how HARD and FAR you can throw in a game! (After all, isn’t that what the practice game guts is supposed to teach you -how to throw uncatchable/unfieldable balls?)
9. Miss your signs. Your coach will go insane if you miss your sign at the plate, especially if you are supposed to fake-bunt-steal and the runner gets thrown out stealing second because you stood there like a statue. Or, if a coach tells you NOT to swing because a pitcher hasn’t thrown a strike and has walked four and you swing at a ball in the dirt (Or see Number 2). Yes, miss your signs – or ignore them – and see how reddish-purple you can turn your coaches face. (Remember, take a picture and send it to us so we can put it on our facebook page!)
10. Complain to your parents, so you wont get in trouble!!! This one is a great way to send your coach into psychological therapy. Act happy in the dugout, tell your coach you want to play 1st, or sit out, or be a base burner, or that you don’t want to hit, or better yet – give your coach a bunch of attitude and mouth- and then when your parents are ticked off, make sure you complain and cry to them so they wont be mad at you, but will be mad at the coach instead. This kind of drama, is the #1 reason coaches stop coaching.
OH -and thanks to FAN Shelly for this one which we won’t even number….Stand at the plate and watch 3 perfect pitches go right by you without even swinging your bat. Dont even blink. And, its even more fun if you have bases loaded and 2 outs! Haha, this will definitely make your coach a basketcase!
There’s more too! But today, we’ll just start with these 10. We don’t want your coach checking him or herself into the nearest psych ward too quickly. Just remember – no matter what you may think, that coach out there LOVES you, even if you do and can push his or her buttons. Every once in a while, just do what he or she tells you to do – and make things easy on them. Ya know – to be nice!
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Oh, I might add stand there and watch three good pitches blow by you with bases loaded and two outs and the game on the line. Don’t even swing your bat.
Yes, that one was so good, had to go back in and add it! Thanks!
How about swing at a pitch with a 3-0 count; refuse to slide on close plays; create DRAMA with your teammates; ask to go shopping for cleats instead of coming to practice; talk about things not softball related during practice…I could go on for pages.
Limiting this list to 10 is kind of like trying to eat one Pringles potato crisp.