The beautiful thing about a softball team, is it is comprised up of anywhere from 9-15 girls, all of whom have a special personality that completes the team in one way or another. And chances are you might encounter a softball player with one or more of these traits.

Softball teams are a lot like families. You drive each-other crazy, love each-other, cry tears of joy, and weep with pain together. You work with one another, and depend upon each-other. And even though you may not like each-other ALL the time and may even secretly dislike each-other from time to time – you always, have one another’s back when it counts…

And just like families are made up of all sorts of different characters who bring the family to life….softball teams are too. And we have found that most teams have at least one or more of the following funny and endearing fastpitch characters….

Today, a humorous looks at some of the characters you might meet along the way. 

1.  “Excuses Ellen” You know the girl. If she misses a ball, its because the sun was in her eyes, or a blimp (that no one else saw) flew overhead at precisely the moment she was supposed to catch the ball, and put a layer of shade across her path of vision – or the throw was bad (even though it hit her glove and bounced out). If she gets thrown at first, she twisted her ankle running down the line. Strike out? It’s the umpires fault for calling balls and strikes wrong. If she makes the wrong play, it’s because someone in the stands eating nachos told her to do it. Excuses Ellen tends to make a lot of excuses for herself about anything that goes wrong on the softball field, and very little is actually her fault.

2. “Hyposchondriac Helen” We think that Helen and Ellen are closely related. The difference of course is that Helen tends to get hurt or injured every time something goes wrong. Misses a ball in the outfield, and when she falls down she stays down – saying her back is hurt. She gets carried off the field crying more than any other girl on the team. Shows up in ankle tape and knee braces and is constantly showing pictures of her ‘battle wounds’ on her Instagram page. Amazingly….Helen seems to bounce back fast, once the initial shock and horror are over with.

3.  “Winning Wilma” This is the kid that no matter what happens she is winning and competitive. There is no such thing as a friendly competition between teammates with Wilma. Once something is put on the line to win or lose, Wilma kicks it into high gear and will literally mow over her best friend (or trip her) to get the #1 spot and earn the bragging rights. Good thing about Wilma, is she tends to want to always win on the softball field too.

4.  “Slow Poke Sally.” Slow poke Sally is that girl that just totally hates running fast. Shes the last one to finish and always does at least one lap less than everyone else because the team laps her, usually doesn’t get to run the bases once she makes it to first (but often hits it outta the field and gets to trot the bases at her own pace). Slow Poke Sally is just slow, and although she loves softball, she just doesn’t have much speed to go with it and has no real desire to run. Which means if she is running….fast….you should probably run too because it means something is chasing her.

5.  “Positive Polly.” Oh my. Everyone always says they want a positive Polly on their team, but the thing is that Positive Polly is sometimes so positive, and outgoing, and vocal, and does every little thing she’s told with a big toothy smile on her face, and never complains and gives the team a pep talk that would make college coaches proud after a rough game – to the extent that her teammates wanna throat punch her from time to time. Or make her cry, just to see if its even possible. She cheers the loudest no matter what, smiles all the time, and is able to find the good and positive in every situation on the field. 

6.  “Silent Sara” Softball and quiet, don’t always go together. When you think of softball girls you think of loud mouths, cheering, hooting and hollering and celebrating athletes that are geared up and excited. Then there’s Sara. She may smile, or giggle – but it takes a heck of a lot to get her to talk much, cheer loud or make herself stand out in the dugout. But you know what they say….you have to watch out for the quiet ones. Just because their mouths aren’t moving, doesn’t mean they aren’t listening!

7. “Instagram IZZY” This girl is everywhere these days and chances are you have at least one on your team too. She starts every practice with the latest news about so and so that she saw on Instagram. “Knows” (meaning doesn’t know anything but their name) everyone in the world, and has the gossip and goods to tell you pretty much anything you wanna know about anyone on any team within a 300 mile radius. And, if you post something on Instagram, chances are SHE will be the first one to see it, comment and try to get the dirt on whats going on in your life.

8.  “Sassy Sandy” This is the girl that always has to have the last word with a coach or parent, makes faces at the umpire (sometimes not behind his or her back), are often rolling their eyes and shrugging their shoulders, and constantly look like the world is going to fall on her head at any moment. We’ve seen Sassy Sandy’s that can be in the middle of a game, and will turn to Sassy mom and dad running their mouths on the bleachers and tell them what she thinks too. We tend to think that Sassy Sandy’s are usually a little burnt out.

9.  “Drama Dana” There are drama Dana’s all over the place. Basically, Dana is a little insecure about herself and tries to start drama among the family…team. The best thing that you can do for your softball family, Dana and yourself, is put your arms around her – tell her you love her, and walk away when she starts bashing a teammate. 

10. “Daddy’s All Star Amy” We actually feel sorry for this girl. She’s amazing, and wonderful. Amy is talented. But she’s usually been on more teams in a season than most girls are in a lifetime and its because she has parent problems. Not every coach is able to handle (or ignore) annoying parents, and this parent will pull up the kids roots anytime conflict arises. Which is often. The important thing to remember of course is that the kid is precious.

So. Do you know any of these players? The good news, is that despite each of our own idiosyncriasies….just like in families in fastpitch softball…Love prevails. 

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