Softball Coach Speak 101 – Softball is For Girls

A softball coach has a language all his or her own. Sometimes, the softball coach will speak out loud, and other times they may just shove a towel over their mouth to catch all the obscenities and mute the volume of their words…

Today, we offer translations to common things you may hear your softball coach say….

1. Wear tennis shoes to practice….When a softball coach says this, pretty much everyone knows what it means. It means that you are running, and it means that he is pissed off about something the team did or didnt do… If he says this right after a game, there is always hope that by the time the next practice rolls around he may have cooled off and reconsider the hostile marathon. One can always hope!
2. Put it in your pocket. Whatever you do, do not swing your bat…If you are up to hit and he tells you to put it in your pocket, it means that the pitcher hasn’t thrown a strike in a while, is possibly rattled and you probably have 3 balls and he’s hoping you will get the walk. He may also say something like don’t help her out… At any rate…if you swing you may be told #1….
3. First step back. Give her a step. Big stick… If the softball coach is hollering at you standing in the outfield, you better wake up, because it means that the girl up to hit might just be hitting to you and even if you havent had a ball all day, there will be no excuse to not be ready for this one should it grace your glove with its presence.
4. Get on your horse…This means run. Fast. We have heard coaches say this to runners on the bases and defensive players in the field, and he/she is basically telling you to put it in high gear and MOVE like you are being chased by Big Foot.
5. Read your defense… Our favorite softball coach says “take a look around” but basically they are trying to tell you to take a look around the field and see where everyone is playing. Is the third baseman playing way far back? Is the other team expecting you to hit the long ball? Can you get a bunt down? This means use your head, and find a way to get on base…
6. Think!!!! Basically, you didnt. That time. So do it next time.
7. Everyone has a JOB! This usually means someone isn’t doing their job, and you need to peek around and see which one of your teammates is lost in la-la land.
8. It’s OK, we’ll get it next time! So you didnt get ‘it’ this time, and you didn’t play all that great, but I am ready to get out of here and get a beer or ten, so I am leaving you with this bit of positivity.
9. It’s Quiet in this dugout. Stop pouting because you are sucking, and get up at the fence and cheer on your teammates even if you are losing 10-0… it will at least help me drown out my thoughts.
10. Be there an hour early cleats on ready to go… This means plan on getting there an hour and a half early so all the hair braiding is done, your pants are buttoned and your shoes are on when its time to start warm ups…..

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