Rants from the Ballfield | Softball is For Girls

We love softball. We really do. Don’t get us wrong, we are all about some softball – but there are still some things about this sport that literally make us mad every single time. With a crap ton of daughters in our house that play ball, it’s hard to remember a weekend where we weren’t at the softball field. Over a decade now, at the ballfield. And some things…they never change.

For PITCHERS ONLY!

So today – just a rant. 

  1. White softball pants. You know what – white is not the new black, and yes they look great on the field against a backdrop of blue skies and green grass and dirt. But seriously, they are white. And softball is all about dirt. And there is no softball mom or dad, who wants to spend hours soaking them in poison, or drop quarters in the car wash to get them clean. Getting white pants clean is not some badge of honor that sets softball moms apart. It just screams “I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS,” and plus we all know the whole time you were getting those suckers clean you were wondering WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DECIDED ON WHITE UNIFORM PANTS – Like, I don’t care if your daughter shows up in her white pants that look like they came straight off the sporting goods store shelf (wait…who are we kidding…straight off the internet because sporting goods stores don’t sell girls softball pants that actually fit girls) it doesn’t impress anyone. Plus, literally 5 seconds after they get on the field they are dirty again…so you spent 5 hours for 5 seconds of bragging rights?
  2. Sporting Goods Store that Don’t Sell SOFTBALL STUFF. Not to call anyone in particular out here, but we are pretty sure Dicks got its name for a good reason. Because they seem more than happy to sell a zillion things for male athletes, but not so much for the female counterparts. If you split a hole in your pants during a game, and need to get a new pair of pants in a hurry, the major sporting goods chains leave with you choosing pants that are made for a boy, or cheap pants without belt loops made of fabric that is itchy and gross and still don’t fit. Just because you put a stripe of pink inside a pair of softball pants does NOT mean they are for girls or for softball… And many sporting goods stores now a days aren’t even sporting goods stores, and are more like sporting fashion stores outfitting people that want to look like they work out. And this isn’t just about pants. It’s about everything fastpitch… Come on Sporting GOODS PEEPS – give us some in store options to keep us off of Amazon Prime.
  3. Tournament Directors are crappy Meteorologists. Every softball parent watches the weather days ahead of a tournament. They can tell you the exact location of every possible rain cloud or storm possibility at any moment. We know on Friday when the weather apps with hybrid satellite images (that TD’s apparently don’t load on their phones) show us that there will be copious amounts of rain by 10am that the tournament will be a wash out. And we wait for the message that the tournament is cancelled. We sleep with our phone on our pillow, totally expecting to be able to turn off the alarm clock. And no, we are not talking about the stray afternoon summer storms that hit here and there and are expected hazards of playing an outdoor sport. We are talking about rain. Like bring an umbrella rain.  But apparently, tournament directors either live under a rock when it comes to weather. Or are in denial due to the almighty dollar. But for the love of all things holy, please don’t NOT cancel the tournament and make us all show up at the butt crack of dawn with $50 worth of stuff in an iced down cooler just so we can get one and a half games in and dirty up a pair of white softball pants that took hours to clean, and then tell us we can’t have our gate fees back and that our team will get half a credit for the next tournament (which were half a mortgage payment because we had to bring the whole damn family) Just call the stinking tournament. Sometimes Mother Nature just WINS! 
  4. Ballpark bathrooms. There’s not much to say here. And if we are being honest, we have to blame the GIRLS for a lot of this gross stuff that goes on in there. I mean, we know you are in a hurry – maybe taking a poo break between batters, or peeing with two outs – but there really is no excuse for some of the things that go on in there. I mean I can understand you may not have time to wash your hands….but flushing? Throwing your junk in the trash? Tidying up after yourself? No excuse. And there is also no excuse for tournaments running out of toilet paper. 
  5. Constant Complainers. Look, this is youth sports. It can be emotional. But do you know how very very VERY blessed we are to have this opportunity, and to be able to give it to our kids. Stop and smell the roses…or the softball socks. Enjoy the people next to you. Try to say good things. Buy a comfortable chair. Let your kid have fun and enjoy the experience. Don’t be miserable and grumpy and negative – and if you just can’t help it then stay home – or go be by yourself somewhere. I mean, we all have our moments, but there are some people that seem to just drip with disdain and are constantly running their mouths and complaining. So just stop already.

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