I’m Sorry You Heard Me Say Your Daughter Sucks

It’s pretty much a guarantee that this post will bring out ALL THE TROLLS who want to judge from behind a computer screen. If not because of the subject matter, because of the fact that we used the word “Sucks” in the title.

And because of the….”OH THE HORROR of someone saying something bad about another child on their own team, those poor kids being raised by a horrible mother who does something like that. She should be ashamed of herself blah blah blah blah” This parent should be kicked right off the team, what kind of example is he/she setting by saying something so offensive!?!?!?!

We get it. This isn’t the finest moment for any of us, when we accidentally get caught saying something aloud that we normally only say in our heads, or letting out one of those “OHG MY GAWD WHAT THE HECK” sighs and slapping our thighs in disgust when the right fielder misses her 5th can of corn of the day and you realize right after that her parents are sitting within earshot.

And truth be told, before you get all judgy and finger pointy -there is probably NOT ONE OF YOU out there who has not at one point or another thought or accidentally had a momentarily lapse of maturity and was taken over by the emotions of the game, and sick and tired of watching a player or two continue to play at a position that they quite frankly aren’t very good at (yet) who seems to continually cost the team games.

So this apology needs to be written.

I AM SORRY !

So to you, my fellow team mom, I am sorry that I said your kid sucked where you could hear me. I suck for doing that. Because I really really love your kid as a human, and a friend to my daughter and teammate. I even really really love you as a fellow team parent. And I respect both of you. I was frustrated and exasperated and let emotions get the best of me. And for that I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings – but if my reaction did, I am sorry. Truly sorry.

As hard as I try to not offend anyone or violate any rules of political correctness in the softball arena, I failed miserably. Usually, I keep these thoughts to myself, but a big game was on the line, and my emotions got the best of me. Nope, that’s not an excuse – but the reality is that it wasn’t personal at all. Because if it was my kid, I would have been saying the exact same thing.

I also want you to know that when my kid sucks, I know it, and more importantly, SHE knows it an I am not the least bit afraid to let her know that she did less than stellar. I don’t coddle the situation. I am not offended when someone else (a coach, fellow parent, teammate) expects more from her. I am not angry that the people sitting on the same bleachers as I am would rather see her hit then get yet another pop-up. When the bad hop plays her instead of her playing it, and someone yells “COME ON KID!!!!” I am not taking it personally and looking to be offended. I agree. I am a big enough person to see that my child is far from perfect. And I am happy to see that others have high expectations of her as well.

I want my daughter to know that expectations for her are high because she has set her own bar high.

Of course, she knows I am proud of her regardless of her performance, of course, she knows I love her, of course, she knows that I love to watch her play more than anything in the world. And of course, SHE KNOWS when SHE SUCKED it up at a game, too. We usually laugh about her errors or silly mistakes later and move on.

And, I also want you to hear this.

When your daughter – or anyone’s daughter plays and plays well, I am just as proud of them as you are and instead of keeping my thoughts to myself, I am one of the first people standing there waiting to give her a HIGH 5, and tell her she is a rock star, and cheering for her! And I, like most softball parents I know, make no effort to be quiet, hold our tongues or filter our words when we are excited for the success of one of our softball girls.

I think for ALL of us, it is important to remember that when it comes to sports and our kids, there are a lot of emotions running amuck. BUT deep down we all want the same things for our children, and we would do ourselves and others a favor if we stopped taking everything personally, and reminded ourselves that we are all humans, on the same side and for the most part WISH ALL THE KIDS SUCCESS.