Last week, there was a comical post going around the internet that described all the different types of SOCCER MOM. It was light-hearted and poked fun at nearly every one of us moms and our idiosyncrasies.
But wait – we thought! What about the soccer err, uhhh SOFTBALL dads? Softball dads are just as predictable, and funny, and no matter what weekend of the month, – you can no doubt find a few of the same dad characters at the ballpark! If softball moms can be characterized, then we believe softball dads can too. So here we go! Do you KNOW any of these dads?
1. The Wannabe But Never Signed up to Coach Dad – You probably know this one. He sneaks into the dugout, brings his glove to every practice and game, makes polite, yet slightly underhanded comments about coaching strategies. He is the dad that has all the ‘right’ ideas about how to make the team better, how to improve the game, what he would or wouldn’t have done, but has never signed up to coach himself. Probably plays beer league slow pitch. Harmless, really and definitely a great fan of the game and the team – but sometimes a little shall we say annoying.
2. This is MY Daughter Hear me ROAR Dad.We have encountered a few of these, and see them at every ball park. They are the dads that extreme coach their daughters from the sidelines, and are often heard yelling and hollering at their daughter from the sidelines, while the daughter shrinks with embarrassment. They expect perfection from their daughter, come to the back of the dugout after a strike out, or error in the field and aren’t afraid to publicly humiliate their kid in front of her teammates. This is the dad that most fans want to throat punch at some point for being so harsh on his own kid. And when his girl does something good – you are most definitely going to hear about it as he is loud and proud. (nothing wrong with that) But make no mistake about it, if anyone tries to calm this dad down, he will tell you quick that he has invested too much time and money and effort into his 10-year-old daughters ‘career’ to be told what to do.
3. The My Daughter Can do no Wrong DAD. Didn’t catch the ball even though it bounced out of your glove? So what, it was a bad throw from your teammate? Strike out looking? No way – those weren’t strikes the umpire is blind. Sitting out an inning? You shouldn’t be on the bench, you’re better than any kid out there. Got caught out stealing 2nd? The coach is a fool for sending you! Aren’t hitting the ball? Let’s go buy a NEW bat!
4. The Stealthy Dad! This is the “you know she has a dad because she says he just dropped her off.” But you hardly ever see him. He stays in the truck, doesn’t show up at all, and doesn’t seem too interested in his fastpitch softball. Good news is there’s enough dads around for everyone so this girl isn’t getting cheated!
5. The Mysterious HE Sits in Centerfield Dad. He probably used to coach. Or, he has been kicked out of a few ball parks before. Or, maybe he doesn’t care to socialize with all the softball moms huddled around the fence. He NEVER misses a game, but he will always find the most discreet places to sit at the ballpark. And you might never really know the REAL reason he sits in centerfield.
6. The GIZMO Dad! Every team desperately NEEDS one of these. He has all the latest and greatest equipment, was the first one to bring a Yeti to the tourney (yes with beer in it), brings a satellite TV dish and TV to the ball field, parks the RV for the entire team to cool off in the parking lot, grills hamburgers, and has the coolest boom box ever. Just a grown boy and his TOYS but definitely a fun guy to have around!
7. The Braggar Dad! Within 3.5 minutes (or seconds) you will know everything there is to know about everything his daughter has accomplished on the softball field. She may be 11, but her sights are set on a college scholarship to Oklahoma, and he already has his daughter’s name on the list! Bam! On his daughters last team, she batted leadoff AND cleanup, won the championship game with an outta the park homerun (you’ve never seen her hit passed the outfielders) and has her dads blowing up with all the coaches and team that want her to play. Nice guy!
8. The Pitchers Dad! You know his daughter is a pitcher when you see him biting his nails, pacing around the field, walking from home plate to right field and back again, fiddling with his hat quietly and then BAM out of nowhere he yells “GOOD PITCH” or “WOO HOO” then goes right back to his silent nervous pacing. He tries to remain both invisible while his daughter pitches and encouraging – because chances are he’s spent a lot of time on a bucket helping her learn and feels emotionally invested in her performance.
9. The PROUD DAD! Well now, aren’t they all?
Softball is For Girls LOVES ALL the dads! And we know that no team, or ballpark would be complete without at least one of every kind of dad….